Well, That Was an Interesting Election

14 Jul 2024, 3:26 p.m.

All in All, Not a Bad Result

It's been a good old while since we've had a not-Conservative government here in the UK. As a member of the Cooperative Party myself, I'm reasonably chuffed with the way things have gone. I'm also rather amused and intrigued by some of the weirdness around the edges of this one. So, I figured I'd stick my oar in and contribute nothing meaningful to the wider discussion on the state of our political system.

Count Binface was Robbed

Everyone's favourite alien warlord once again stood against the sitting PM - in this case, Rishi Sunak in the Richmond constituency. I've long been a closet admirer of the only honest creature in politics, particularly since he pledged to build at least one affordable house in his most recent manifesto. That's more than any of the major parties have been able to muster, so hats off to him. I did find myself caught slightly off-guard by one of his stunts this time around. He donned a bombastic human-suit and wrote a rather touching tribute to his late brother in the Times. It's a well-written confessional on the subject of grief, powerful without taking itself too seriously. Really very good and everyone should read it regardless of whether they support our soon-to-be space warrior in chief.

Reform UK is Largely Supported by Bots

It has been widely reported that much of Reform's online operation was composed of automata and mindless drones. Turns out some of those were digital. We should have seen this coming, really, given what we know about the current state of AI.

On that note...

People Thought Some of Reform's Candidates Were AI-generated

I used to shy away from telling people I have a penchant for conspiracy theories, worrying they'd assume/realise I'm a tad unhinged. In more recent years I've stayed quiet about it in case people think I'm right-wing. Luckily my fellow progressives have really upped their game and accused ol' Nige of fielding fictional candidates. While it's a bit odd that many of these folks had seemingly no digital footprint and practically nobody had any idea who any of them were, it does seem as though they were real people. The practice of filling ballot papers with so-called "paper candidates" is an old one and not particularly unusual. It's good for the campaign coffers, raises the profile of the party, makes people take notice. Reform appear to have been particularly ham-fisted with it, though.

Combine those last two points, though, and one thing is clear: Reform is the party of the Singularity as much as it's the party of gammon.

FPTP Remains a Sick Joke

Labour won 63% of the seats on 33.8% of the vote. I'm a lefty, so yay Labour, but seriously this is silly. While it's true that the left won big-time on this occasion thanks to FPTP, it's also true that the majority of the populace votes for left-leaning parties a majority of the time. The Conservatives end up in power because FPTP is archaic and unbalanced, not because of their own merit. This has to be addressed at some point. People have to be represented fairly in government, even people I disagree with, because otherwise they end up getting radicalised and hating a system that tries very hard to keep them silenced. I know this because I am, myself, ideologically a bit of an extremist. On the left side, but still a total whacko. I'm willing to compromise and participate in the political status quo because I'm a pragmattist, but I'll be damned if I ever go a day without ranting to some poor soul about how the whole game is rigged in favour of the establishment.

Ed Davey is Having the Time of His Life

I wanted to end on something positive, so here's a highlight reel of the Liberal Democrat leader winning at life. It's always good to be reminded that the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland is fundamentally an unserious country.

In Closing

I'm sincerely hoping that the election of a fairly uninteresting lawyer to the top job means that politics will become boring again. If all goes well, I won't be posting anything about this subject in the near future. Unless something crazy happens, like an assassination attempt on a US presedential candidate or something like that. Seems unlikely. I'm sure I'll catch up on the news after posting this and there won't be anything of note happening in the world.